Case in point
A husband comes home and finds his wife waiting for him. The children throng him as soon as he enters the house. The wife asks about his day and gets him breakfast with the children merrily playing in the background. The two have their usual conversation over the cup of hot tea. These few oft repeated words of concern and affection is what keeps the man going. The wife is happy to see her husband back after a long day at work. He has been a great husband and a wonderful father and she is so lucky to have him in her life, she often tells herself.
Cut to some time in the future:
The husband comes back as usual from work late in the evening. The wife brings him tea and cookies. She tries to start a conversation but he seems a bit quiet today. His wandering gaze seems to suggest some thought going on in his mind. He seems uninterested and on some other train of thought. Something is not right is what the wife thinks but then it might just be the pressure of work. He's been awfully strained these past days. But even at the dinner table there was an eerie silence. Something was not right. Something definitely is amiss. Then late at bedtime the husband is wide awake deep in his thoughts though pretending to read a book. Suddenly he turns to her and looks at her. She looks at him intently and is waiting to hear him out, as she has always had. It is this love, care and affection which gives the guy the courage to speak out to her. He musters all his strength and says that he wants to tell her something. He tells her about an affair of long back and one evening of flawed judgement hoping that it being a thing of the past the wife would understand. He tries to explain that something was wrong that night and he was not himself. He never wanted to but it happened. He was trying to explain everything but his lexicon has suddenly seemed to desert him. The ever eloquent and convincing Mr. Charming was today not finding words fit enough to express his grief and more so his guilt. The countenance of the wife had melted into a tearful glut. He had never seen her like this. Even on the death of her beloved father she had somehow managed to keep herself together. But today it was different, starkly different. She was deluged in her own tears. The night passed without a wink of sleep or even a word exchanged. The next morning things had changed. Their life had changed. The usual clinging voice of his wife was nowhere to be heard.
It was very different from that day on and there was much more silence between them. The days and nights seemed to linger on much longer. He would recall the time when he just could not have enough time to be at home although he was spending much more of his time at home then than he's now. The workplace had become much more bearable these days and somehow he preferred to be there than at home.
Any thoughts
I have always failed to understand the true reason behind the changed dynamics in the relations after a confession made in confidence. The person confessing has enough faith in the psychological stability and trust in the relation that he's willing to take the risk and absolve himself of the guilt he's been carrying all the while. This is not to in anyway say that his actions had been right in the first place (I want to make that clear in the very beginning). Still, he thinks that his partner would understand that what had happened was sporadic or incidental and won't ever happen again. Mistakes happen and he's willing to pay for that but the least he expects his partner to do is to understand him.
From the perspective of the woman, the man has broken a vow. She has left everything for him and has made his life hers. She has given him her everything including her best years of life. She was a successful professional too but had taken to be a housewife so that she could support him, make a home out of a house for him and for him to have a family. She could have been out there. She was successful. She was growing in her career faster than him. She had a friend circle which anyone would vie for. She had given it all up for him and his love. What had she asked in return? Nothing much except that what he had got from her, complete trust and faithfulness.
Both are right in their own thoughts, then who is wrong? Is the woman more perturbed by the one-sided breach of contract by the man? She has lost out on all the fun and frollick just to be with him. She has lost out on the best times of her life. Is she more angry about her lost opportunities than she is about the man's actions?
Life and relations are complex. There is not one certain answer. And certainly, in the above case the gender could have been reversed, as is quite common in today's world. What would have been the situation then?
These questions are intriguing to me. Hope to have some comments by you guys.
By the way the thoughts came to me after watching the movie Masoom (old one). A great flick. Please do write in some comments. I'll be waiting.
SM
